Living with a melanoma


Today is a little easier, I haven’t lost my temper once (there’s time) and I haven’t cried.   Progress.  That’s what we have now learnt to call a ‘better’ day.   I actually forgot for whole periods of time (like 10 minutes) that any day now we will hear how much surgery Steve has to have and when that might be.  There is something intrinsically awful about waiting for news that can only be shades of bad.  Steve’s red hair has predisposed him to getting a melanoma and I have to say, hasn’t put him high on the tolerating troubles scale.  If Steve isn’t pleased then do I know all about it.  However, as I say, today is a good day (no, we didn’t see red cars on the way to work – if you’ve not read ‘Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night – skip that bit) and its good because we have leaned on each other and loved each other.

I went out to a client today and got back to the gym to find two exhausted men – Steve is helping Michael to learn about how to manage Bluntisham gym.   Now Micheal can lift eye wateringingly heavy weights and Steve can run and bike for hours, but working out the staff rotas up until Christmas nearly had them lying on the floor.   I managed not to say that I had spent large parts of my career as a ward sister planning much more complex rotas – thought it best to be quiet.  

We finished work early today – only 11 hours on Wednesdays!  And we set up my study (reclaimed part of the garage) – got heating, a rug, a blind up at the window, desk and shelves – brilliant.  Now I can write to my heart’s content and be around post surgery.  So you can see why its been a good day.  We are also basking in an act of huge kindness.  A month ago I had never watched a box set of anything, but we have got completely hooked on Homeland.  We avidly watched the first series and the person who lent us that said she had series two which we could also borrow.  Imagine how I felt when she gave me an unopened box – ‘you have it first’ she said.  She hadn’t actually got it so had bought it specially.  Its the little things that glow large.

Oh, and when I asked Steve why today was so much better he said that he had decided to ‘get a grip’ (I do hope I didn’t actually tell him to do that in the midst of black Monday?) and that he has decided that he feels much better if he does half an hour of exercise at an appropriate level – gosh – anyone would think he lived with someone whose specialist subject is exercise and cancer!



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