Living with a melanoma


I never, ever thought I would write a blog like this, or, for that matter, think or speak like this.

I am praying for a miracle

There, I’ve said it.

One of the mantras of nursing is ‘if it isn’t documented, its not done’.  How true, never more so than when you stand in a coroner’s court (as I have done) and he shows a blank sheet of paper which is supposed to be a record of the patient’s vital signs.  He then asks, ‘so, nurse, how do I know that you observed this patient over this period of time?’  Well, there is no answer because it is useless to stand there and say that you did – or what you saw.

I have never, in all the hundreds and hundreds of sets of medical notes I have read over the last 40 years, seen the words ‘a miracle has happened’, so, not documented, not done’.   Patients would tell me that they were praying for a miracle, and I would nod sagely (I was good at that) and think ‘you’ll be lucky’.  So, have I been driven to look at miracles out of desperation or because I am part of a church that believes that we have a loving God, capable of anything?  Are miracles biblical stories or fully relevant in today’s world?

I am praying that Steve’s cancer has gone and will not return, that’s the miracle I am asking for, in the full belief that God could make this happen.

We had a rubbish day yesterday.  Birthdays are not good if you measure your life’s worth in years.  We were OK until after lunch, helped by a great friend who popped round, but then the stress of it all really got to us.  My children picked up on the rubbish that was our evening.  Isn’t it wonderful when you realize that your grown up children are just that?   Grown up.  They used skills that I didn’t know they had, they truly amazed us.   They gave us the best birthday present possible, they gave their time and their love.  Ticked all my boxes.




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